Boomer Women: Finishing What We Started
Yes, "we've come a long way, baby" as the decades-old Virginia Slims commercial touted... And inasmuch as "having our own cigarette" is not the celebration Madison Avenue tried to make it, what is worthy of much pride is how far we've come in the last quarter century in our quest for self-determination, equality, and our ability to live our fullest potential! Yet, as Marlo Thomas states so succinctly in the quote above, what gets in our way now is not as much "society" or our laws (although there's still work to do on those two fronts as well...!), but ourselves.
We still have a tendency to either not treat ourselves as well as we do others, feel some level of guilt when we do, or remain unaware of how we continue to self-reinforce old socialization barriers to creating the life experience we so richly deserve - and too seldom attain.
A recent study by Catalyst, the non-profit research and advocacy organization that studies women in the workplace, shows women continuing to be severely underrepresented in top corporate leadership positions, still a mere 16.4%. And because women have held approximately 50% of all managerial positions for decades, the conclusion is clearly that something is holding women back from breaking that "glass ceiling." Interestingly, the same things that play a leading role as barrier to achievement/fulfillment in the workplace have the same impact in our personal lives as well, and they are: insufficient accessing/use of informal networks, lack of role models (women who are proudly strong and self-sufficient), and gender-based stereotyping including self-imposed limitations.
If his sounds a lot like you, you're wondering what you can do about it.... How do you "uncondition" yourself, and then how do you handle the repercussions as you change and those around you do not - and most certainly do not appreciate the "new you"...?
First, you must literally change the way you think - about yourself and the world around you. In our popular presentation topic, "Why Women Need to be More Like Men....!" we take the audience through the years of helping guys get in touch with their "feminine side" - which overall seems to be working - and how we now need to do the reverse: get in touch with our "masculine side." No, not by growing a beard or scratching in public..... By learning and using those most useful characteristics that have gotten men to the positions of power and autonomy they enjoy to this day!
We still have a tendency to either not treat ourselves as well as we do others, feel some level of guilt when we do, or remain unaware of how we continue to self-reinforce old socialization barriers to creating the life experience we so richly deserve - and too seldom attain.
A recent study by Catalyst, the non-profit research and advocacy organization that studies women in the workplace, shows women continuing to be severely underrepresented in top corporate leadership positions, still a mere 16.4%. And because women have held approximately 50% of all managerial positions for decades, the conclusion is clearly that something is holding women back from breaking that "glass ceiling." Interestingly, the same things that play a leading role as barrier to achievement/fulfillment in the workplace have the same impact in our personal lives as well, and they are: insufficient accessing/use of informal networks, lack of role models (women who are proudly strong and self-sufficient), and gender-based stereotyping including self-imposed limitations.
If his sounds a lot like you, you're wondering what you can do about it.... How do you "uncondition" yourself, and then how do you handle the repercussions as you change and those around you do not - and most certainly do not appreciate the "new you"...?
First, you must literally change the way you think - about yourself and the world around you. In our popular presentation topic, "Why Women Need to be More Like Men....!" we take the audience through the years of helping guys get in touch with their "feminine side" - which overall seems to be working - and how we now need to do the reverse: get in touch with our "masculine side." No, not by growing a beard or scratching in public..... By learning and using those most useful characteristics that have gotten men to the positions of power and autonomy they enjoy to this day!
Keeping Our Movement Alive
Having the Best of Both Worlds
Reaping the benefits of adding a little "Mars" in with our "Venus"
This includes:
Reaping the benefits of adding a little "Mars" in with our "Venus"
This includes:
- How to stop sweating the small stuff
- Changing the way you think about yourself and others
- Becoming more self-assured (inner-directed)
- Creating strong personal boundaries
- How to handle those who become threatened by the new more self-assured you
- Taking things less personally
"A Woman Should Have" by Maya Angelou
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
…enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...
…something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
…a youth she's content to leave behind....
…a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....
... a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
…one friend who always makes her laugh.. and one who lets her cry...
... a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
... eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...
…a feeling of control over her destiny..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
how to fall in love without losing herself...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods....
when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...
and a year.
…enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...
…something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
…a youth she's content to leave behind....
…a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....
... a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
…one friend who always makes her laugh.. and one who lets her cry...
... a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
... eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...
…a feeling of control over her destiny..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
how to fall in love without losing herself...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods....
when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...
and a year.
Menopause...the Movie
Coming soon to a theatre near you...
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Boomer Women and Retirement
The headline of a recent article (Sunday, June 19th 2011) in the Business section of the Pulitzer prize winning newspaper The St. Petersburg Times read:
"Single women of a certain age face dire straits: The turbulent economy has worsened the situation for 17 million women ages 46-64." In it were the following statistics:
So, what's a Boomer woman in such dire straits to do? Start by taking a tough look at your existing retirement savings, and savings plan. Statistics indicate that you have little of either. Recognize that no one is going to take care of you...but you... and take immediate steps to change anything in your life, and lifestyle, that you can right now, to free up money you can then save for later years. Then, contact ClearPoint Credit Counseling Solutions, a Raleigh based non-profit with financial specialists who have much experience working specifically with Boomer women. They will help you put in place a retirement savings plan, starting today. Finally, set better boundaries with children (dependent and adult) and anyone else in your life on whom you're spending dollars that need to go toward your retirement, and if you are still married, make sure you're an equal partner in all financial decisions. Because unless those people promise to support you when the time comes, the time is now to for you to become more self-sufficient, self-caring, and self-helping; all quite different from self-ish and self-serving. We confuse these concepts, which continues to keep us poor, and poorly prepared. |
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